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Sunday, 23 August 2015

A look inside (a poem)


I wasn't sure if i should publish this but here it is.


Inside I'm screaming
Outside my smile beaming
There is no way for you to tell
That I'm in my own man made hell

I hid what I'm feeling
with a smile that's gleaming
you have no idea
I'm dwelling on my fears

I'm thinking of everything
the worry is setting in
I'm crying yet hiding
My feeling I don't want you to see

My anxiety's destroy
but time will heal
till, maybe tomorrow
where more could be revealed

But don't hid away and shun me
Or my act will just disarm me
I hold back the fear to protect you
Can't you just enjoy my smile show



I wrote this when I was feeling low.  I know its not amazing work but its from my heart.  Writing this helped me focus my mind and help calm me and relax me.  So please don't judge me for writing this. 

Wednesday, 19 August 2015

The Figure in the Door




Most stories start with a once upon a time or a long time ago, but not this one.

This one starts in a room, a single lamp glows from a corner but the room remains still dim.  A fireplace in the centre of the wall opposite from the door that once housed a beautiful roaring fire is now just a home for soot and dust.  A rocking chair faces the dusty cold fireplace slowly rocking back and forth while the floorboard underneath lets of long creeks as it rocks.

The door handle turns and as the door opens it makes a sound that could make the un-dead’s heart miss a beat.  In the door frame a small figure, a silhouette made by the light from the dim lamp, then a voice, with the cords of an angel, so smooth and warm, it could melt the coldest of hearts beckons to the rocking chair,

“Mother”

The chair stops
“Mother”

There was no answer but the figure knew the chair was listening.

“Mother, I’m here for you, just turn around, please mother”

No response.  Just silence.
The voice was about to give up but then movement came from behind the chair.  A soft but week whisper answers gently,

“Hush now child, please go to sleep, I’m so tired and I can no longer weep”.

The figure shaken pleaded again.

“I can’t do this anymore, please mother”.

But a deathly silence came from behind the chair.  The figure sighed and closed the door.  The chair once again started to rock slowly and whispering words that nobody could hear.
The woman holds a blanket wrapped like a doll with a light grip, she will never let it go, and her heart longed for her dream which she clinged onto.  A dream of a life what could have been?  Her life now in tatters just her memories and dreams her comforts.  Hours passed as she dreams of her better life, and then the door opens again.

“Mother please, please let me go”.

“You know I can’t child”.

“Please, mother I bet you let me go”.

The figure now crying from the door frame, tears trickle down his cheeks like rain.

The woman from the chair slowly stood up, cradling her blanket and she turned around.  Her face was old and broken, her eyes dark and harsh, yet somehow her youth still remained.  She was frail and week and thin, her clothes hanged of her tiny frame.

“I can’t my son, please don’t make me”

The figure in the door looked at the blanket

“Let me go mother”

The frail woman fell to her knees; she placed the blanket on the floor.  It was so stiff and so heavy and yet so small.

“I’m sorry my child”

Her hands stretched out to welcome the figure, a reunion of love and the figure ran towards her arms.  Her cuddle engulfed the figure and tears fell from their eyes.

“You forgot about me, didn’t you Mother”.

“Never, my son”.

“You did mother, you did”.

The figure reached into their pocket, a dagger, new and shiny and deadly plunged into the woman’s back.  Again and again the dagger entered her back yet the woman didn’t scream or whimper she just whispered “my son”.

“I’m your daughter” the figure snarled back, as she turned away her mother dropped to the floor and slid over to the blanket on the floor.  With her last ounce of energy she unfolded the blanket and kissed the rotting flesh of her dead son lips.

“Finally together” she took her final breath.

“You should have let me go” her daughter whispered and closed the door.

Tuesday, 18 August 2015

It's been a bit quite here.



I'm so sorry, I've been really quite, and away with the fairies but I promise you the next thing shall be good. Hopefully.  Sometimes I can be my own worse critic but I'm sure something will come.

Until then I have started a Book review page so please come check it out.  Together we shall read and make friends.  I will be something fancy hopefully. 

So keep your eyes open for my next thing.  I had a idea but I'm not sure on it yet we shall see how it works out. 

Any way sorry it short but I didn't want you wondering where the stories went.

Ciaobella

Thursday, 6 August 2015

Runaway (sorry its so long)



“Justin get down from there, what will the neighbours think, we have just moved here” Justin’s mum cried, “for once why can’t you just do as your told”.  As Justin climbed down he ripped his shirt.  “God damn it Justin, we haven’t got the money to keep replacing these shirts, and these bruises, what are people going to think”
Justin sighed, his mum is always fussing, “I know mum we’re poor, don’t have to keep going on about it”.
“We are not poor, things are a bit tight at the moment that’s all, anyway, we are now late for your new school and I don’t have time to fix your top, just going to have to cover it over with your jumper.  Come on hurry up or you’re going to miss the bell”
“Great” Justin thought “I hate school, why the hell would I rush for that”.
As he walks through the gates it starts, just as it did before, the taunts, the name calling, every day no matter where he goes it’s the same routine.  Justin blood starts to boil, till he’s hatred turned to rage and POW, poor kid didn’t stand a chance.  Justin fist hit him hard even before he managed to finish the sentence.  Adrenaline is pumping through him, he can hear the kids all yelling, a circle has formed around them, but then teachers appear, they grab Justin and he winces, their hands and grabbed one of his tenders bruises.  The teacher pulls him into the office and as Justin wiggles free he tears he’s shirt more, ”Damn it” he thinks “mums going to kill me for sure”.   The teacher sees the tear and notices the bruise underneath.  He calls his parents. “I’m sorry but we can’t accept this form of behaviour, I understand you are still settling in but it’s unacceptable.   
By the time Justin mum arrives he knows he’s in deep trouble.  He was at school for like 10 minutes before he got pulled in, “this has got to be a new record” he thinks. 
“Two weeks Justin, two weeks, that is your father going to say he is going to go spare.  You know he doesn’t need this extra stress, did they notice the shirt, of cause they did.  That’s their job, great.  Justin how you can do this, are you listening to me” He mother yelling continued to yell at him but Justin wasn’t listening.  “Jesus mum, I know I did wrong, just shut up already” Justin thought but second guessed that maybe he shouldn’t actually say that to her.
When they arrived home, the house was clean it’s obvious that mum has been on one the night before, anything to keep he lord ship happy, Justin thought.  Thankfully he still at work, I won’t ever hear the end of this from him.  Then the door went.

Justin ran to his room; please don’t say dad came home early.  He wouldn’t, would he?
Mum opened the door she seemed skittish, who was it.  He didn’t recognise the voice at the door, and then he heard the words social services. “Oh no, I’m never going to be forgiven for this one” he thought.  The woman look around the house, his mum was being the charming self she was and explained what happed in the morning.  Justin saw this opportunity to sneak outside to the garden.  As he sneaked past he heard the words Hyper, exhausting, great that’s obviously about me.  As he ran outside he climbed up the tree in the garden.  He could see his mum and the woman in the kitchen, he could see them looking out the window at him.
“At least one good thing has come from this”, Justin said to himself, “No school, I won’t have to listen to people making nasty comments and horrid threats”.  The he saw the light from the drive, oh no dads home. He jump down and ran inside, it was a race to his room.  He managed to close his door just as dad walked in, made it.  Dad waked into the kitchen where mum was sitting, Justin opened his door and sat on the stairs listening….
Mum tells dad everything that happened that day, he could feel his dad getting angrier and madder as she told him what happened, she told him about the fight at school, the teachers pulling him to the office, the ripped shirt, the meeting, the travel home and finally the woman who came round.  Dad hit the roof.  He’s yelling, he smashing plates then he punches a wall making his own wife cry, he yelling blaming her screaming at her shouting out that she can’t control her own kid.

Justin ran back to his room, he can hear his dad’s footsteps on each step.  Justin though about hiding but then dad will know he listened so he say on his bed like nothing happened.  The door smashes open and his dad standing in the door way, he starts to yell.  Do you have to bring this trouble to our door boy?  He screams.  Look at your room it’s a mess.  He unplugs he’s telly, takes his phone and laptop and says that he will attending lessons while your suspended. He slams the door behind him and goes back downstairs to his wife.  Down stairs dad seems to calm down a bit, Justin can hear him apologises and promised to fix the kitchen and work hard for new kitchen stuff, He tells her about his bad day at work.  How he’s struggling holding down two jobs, she offers to go back to work but he declines, what kind of father would I be if I can’t provide for my family, he leans in a kisses her.  Sorry again love, I love you.  They hug, and she whispers I love you to. And then she goes in for the tiggle which makes him laugh.  Justin can hear his parents mucking about, he’s glad his dad can always been cheered up by his mum, But he’s getting angry that nobody has come upstairs to see if he’s alright.  Dad yelled pretty hard.

As the night goes on mum and dad go up to sleep on the stairs mum asks if she should check on Justin but his father said no, let him think about what he done.  We cuddle him too much.  Justin lied on his bed he heard them say that.  He’s anger if growing inside him.  Learn my lesson, I have nothing to learn, I was defending them.  He is so angry right now at his mum and dad that he hatches a plan to get back at them.  He starts to pack a bag and waits in his room till he can hear the gentle snoring from his parents from the room next door.  He sneaks downstairs and unlocks the door, once he’s outside he realised how easy that was, why hasn’t he done this before then walks down the street in the dead of night.

Justin knows of a tree house in the fields nearby, apparently some teenagers build it a few summers ago but it’s still standing and nobody uses it now.  He thinks it would be a good place to hide out for a day or two, tis will make he’s parents feel sorry for yelling at him and walk towards the tree house.  As he approaches the tree house it looks like somebody there, he though he saw a light but as he got closer he realised that it must have just been his eyes and there was no light on.  He climbs up and sees that there are some blankets there.  Great they will make a great base for a bed and makes himself comfy for the night.  Just as he’s dozing off he hears footsteps outside.  He kneels up to the window and sees a girl walking towards the tree house, he shuffles into a corner and the girl climbs up, as she walks in the first thing she notices is his shaggy hair.

“Hi,” she says, “I thought I saw somebody coming to the tree house so I out the light and run down and hid.  I saw you walk passed and realised you’re not scary your my age so I deemed it alright to come back out.  I’m Hannah, have you ran away? I did my mum just don’t get me.  You know she made me eat fish…..Fish, I can’t eat fish, burgh.  What’s your name”?

Justin sits up and ties to tidy his appearance, “Yeah, my parents don’t get me either, I hate them.  They are always horrid and shouting at me.  I can go somewhere else if you want, I mean you were here first, I don’t mind”.

Don’t be silly Hannah said, it’s nice to have somebody to talk to, are you hungry thirst I have food and drink.  Thanks yeah ill have a drink and she threw him a soda.

In the morning Justin woke up, feeling groggy a rubbing the sleep from his eyes, the tree house was pretty quiet and nothing was happening outside, peaceful.  He look around for Hannah but she was nowhere to been seen, she must of gone off to get supplies, I swear she said something like that last night, and he laid back down. Mornings are the hardest he thought.

The morning at his parents was very different, he father has already left for work and told the mum not to let him sleep in, she started the washing up and thought she would get the kitchen tidy before waking him up, She thought that they can have a calm talk about what happened the day before, its unlike him to start a fight some something must of pushed his buttons.  After washing up she walked up stairs and knocked on his door “Justin”….No answer, “Justin”, she slowly opened it, “Sweetie”,  she looked in, she saw his bed wasn’t messy it was still made.  Justin didn’t sleep in his room.  She noticed some of his clothes were missing… In a panic she phoned Justin phone but heard it ringing in the living from where he’s dad took it away last night.  She hangs up and called her husband.

Justin finally got up and dressed.  He looked around for food and found some jam and bread.  “Great breakfast for a king” he said laughing to himself.  “She wouldn’t mind if I had some.  I’ll replace it”.

Finally the dad picks up the phone before he had the change to say hello his wife screamed “HES NOT HERE”. 
“He probably went out early this morning and made he’s bed because he knows we was mad last night.  Wait till I get home, I teach him to sneak out”.
 Sensing his rising temper she changed her tone and said,” yea your right, he just sneaked out.  Have a better day today sweetie, love you”.

Justin finally got up, there’s been no sign of this girl all day, Maybe I should tidy up a little bit, but he had seconds thought, the place seemed alright really when he looked around.  Where was she?  He doesn’t even remember he going to sleep.  It’s been hours he thought, she should have been back by now it’s getting dark outside.  Oh well maybe she’s just gone home.  Well I’m not giving up so easily.

Back at home and dad just got home, as he walked in he’s wife was pacing in the living room, “is he still not home”.
“No not yet.  Where is he, I’m so worried.  I wished we never yelled at him, I just want him home.  OH sweetie, what shall we do”? 
“It’s time we phoned the police, have we called all the places he could have gone?”
“Yes of cause I have, nobody has seen him all day.  I called everywhere even the hospital nothing”.  She started crying.  He grabs the phone and dials.  “Hello police please, my son is missing”….

At the tree house the door opens and the girl is back.  “Where have you been then” Justin asks trying to act cool, he don’t want her to think he actually cared.  He asks if he should go home just to see what’s happening but she snaps and says he’s parents don’t care or they would have been out looking for him.  She says she saw them in town earlier and it’s probably best that he stay with her.  He agrees because he can see how upset she was becoming, but he did wonder how she knew who her parents were.  He looks out the window and can see blue flashing lights in the distance, he wonders if they was for him.  She walks over and pulls the curtain over the window.

Back at the house his parents tell the police everything that happened, they both break down in tears blaming themselves, they just want him back.  The police take a look around the house but there boy has left no clue to where he would of gone.  The mum give the officer a list of all the places that she thinks he would have gone and a list of all the people and places she has already called.  They thank the police for their time and say to contact either of them at any time if they need any other information.  The police say that most runaways tend to turn up in a few days anyway so don’t panic so much and most of the times they are local.  And the police leave.

The boy pulls back the curtain and can see the blue light s leaving.  Hannah snaps and pushes the boy to the floor.  “Do you want to go back” she screaming, “Do you want to leave me.  I thought we were having fun”.  She is furious and its ten times scarier than when his dad is yelling.  She shows her teeth as she snares words at him,” leave then, but you can never come back.  You won’t survive without me”.  He sees that her teeth are all sharp and jaggered, he can’t recall them being like that before.  Justin scared and thinks it best not to mess with Hannah, “No, of cause not. I want be here with you Hannah”. He kneels up slowly, making sure he doesn’t look into her eyes.  She seems paler then before, her skin looks translucent.  Something is different about her.  Hannah smiles and tells him that he should rest, the blue light are long gone.  Justin slips over to some blankets; he thinks its best that he should do as she says.
In the morning Hannah is still awake, she pale and has red eyes, it looks like she salivating, he asks if she’s alright and she brushes him off saying its hay fever.  He offers to do breakfast but she says she has already eaten.  He notes that not once has she made eye contact. Hannah yawns and Justin suggest she take a nap.  At first she declines then she makes him promise not to leave her.  He promises her and she lies down.  After a hour or so Justin checks the door and it’s locked.  He’s trapped.

Outside the tree house, Justin can hear voices; he can hear leaves rustling and he’s name being called.  He looks out the window a search party.  “Over here” he cries from the window and quick as a flash he’s knocked to the floor.  You promised you wouldn’t leave me.  Come with me Justin begs.  Hannah grabs he’s throat it shops him from being able to yell and pins him to the floor.  He tries to wiggle free but she is too strong.  Why is she so strong, she bites down onto he’s shoulder, the pain is unbearable.  She pulls on this throat and her finger nails cut into his neck.  She can feel the blood running down his neck.  She clenches her fingers and pulls on his neck ripping off chucks of his neck.  He’s voice has gone, he can’t talk or scream,  he can’t breathe he can feel his life slipping away all he can think off is his mum crying and his dad consoling her.  Hannah leans to he’s ear and whispers “did you not wonder where she went, did you not notice she was acting different”.  Justin eyes widened and it dawns on him.  He blinks and Hannah has gone, some creature is hunched over him with long talons instead of nails, a hunched back, horns, sharp teeth and deep red eyes.  The beast lunges down again to take a bite of Justin’s flesh and the last sear or pain was enough to make Justin drift away.

Outside somebody from the search party spots the tree house.  “Over here, up that tree.  It’s a tree house he could be up there”.  He father is with them and runs as fast as he can.  He’s running like a beast on a rampage.  “Justin” he’s screaming “Justin”.  He climbs the ladder and breaks through the door.  The father lets of a scream of terror.  He can see the demon with his some in his arms.  He can see the demon eating his son.  The demon turns around growls at Justin’s father, Justin dad goes go make a grab to Justin but the demon was too quick he picks up Justin and jumps out the window.  The father makes a final grab for the best but misses and falls from the window.  He land to the floor with a thud and a crack.  The search party run forwards Justin father lying on the floor looking up to the window, they all look up to the window to the see the demon with Justin body.  Justin father was about to take his last breath when he hears the words “Not again”.

Sunday, 2 August 2015

Peeper

There he was again peeping through their window just hoping, waiting to catch a peek.  It won’t be long till he moves along till the next one.  It started out just one house. Just up the road. Every few nights he goes out to see if he could peep something.  Sometime it was the wife that caught his attention and sometimes it was their daughter.  But mainly he liked to see their family time.
He would watch them just watching telly, and even he knew that was boring but he would carry on peeping.
He wasn't fussy on the house, and he would move for better views. I've seen him in trees and hiding in bushes.  They don’t know he does it.  I’m willing to keep his secret, for now.
He's only 16, still a boy in some people standard.  It was odd for a peeper to be so young.  He wasn't a pervert and he wasn’t doing it for sexual pleasure, well not mostly anyway, he just wanted to see a real family, a true family life.  I guess he was making up for the lack of family life he has at home. 
Meal times were his favourite, seeing everybody together, talking about their days and eating.  Sometime it made him hungry but he was used to that feeling and got over it.  He even liked hearing arguments and then hearing them say sorry and I love you afterwards.  Those acts of love and kindness made him feel warm inside.  I once tried to offer him to say at mine, I offered to feed him and clean him up, help him learn but he didn’t trust me.  Why should he, everybody who has ever been near him has ruined him and made him this boy.
But every night without fail he managed to sneak outside and look, peep into their windows into their life, into their souls.  Just looking, wishing, hoping that one day, he’ll be invited in.