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Friday 12 February 2016

Don't Let Me Die

I’m running as fast as I can.  Running away from everything, the forest is my cover.  I feel like I’ve been running forever but I can’t remember what from.  I was overcome with the strong urge to get away.  The thickness of the forest has just dawned on me and it makes me stop just to admire the beauty that is found in the darkest of places.  As I look around I still have the need to move forward.  This need has taken me off the path, making me climb through the thick over growth and dense forestation.  The further I move forwards the darker it becomes, the ground becomes more black and the trees become almost sinister but there is still something inside me telling me to keep moving, I’m not far enough yet.
Everything seems heavier even the air the we breath feels heavy in my chest.  My feet are like blocks of concrete but the drive inside me makes me move on, I have to keep going.  The weight is making me move slower but I feel like I’m close to something.  Two trees block my path, there’s not much room for me to slip between them but, whatever is drawing me into this forest, is on the other side, I must get through, correction I will get through.  I look up, the sky looks dark through the trees.  This is it I thought Whatever is forcing me , driving me to this point is through these trees, i just need to get through.  I squeeze through the trees, breathing in like it makes a difference.  The bark rips my clothes and my skin. It so dark and rough yet as my arm slips through to the other side it feels like the trees are giving way allowing me through, like I was destined to be here.  On the other side is a clearing,  I can see the sky but it’s still dark but it must only be about noon.  Tiredness falls upon me so I sit down to rest, as I wait I drift of to a slumber.
I wake with a jump,  it takes me a while to realise I’m still in the clearing.  I don’t feel heavy no more or tired, I’m just cold.  The temperature has dropped there’s a breeze in the air.  The sky is still dark and the clearing now is pitch black, I have no idea how to get back.  That’s when I noticed him. On the other side of the clearing a solitary man dressed in a black hooded cloak stands alone holding a single candle.  He’s so still it’s like the night hardly moves around him.  The candle doesn’t even flicker and the breeze doesn’t even touch him.
The figure stands with skin so pale and clothes worn and torn but at the same time his haunting figure is calming against my own fears.  I wonder how long he has stood there has he been watching me? Did he follow me?  I didn’t have time to worry so much as I’ve just realised he was walking and yet the man didn’t even make a sound. Not even the ground beneath him rustled.  Everything was still.  As he approach the centre he bent down and with his hands dug a hole into the ground.  He plants his  candle and slowly walks forwards.  And yet after all this the man didn’t make a sound.
As he stood I could see him speaking but I couldn’t hear a word.  As he walked closer towards me, his mouth still moving but everything was still silent even his voice was nothing.  He stood next to me and yet he was still silent.  He turned and look at his candle in the middle of the clearing so I did too.  Not one word was spoken to each other. The man held out his hand and I took it, I was transfixed  I watched the candle transform into huge tree right in front of my eyes, Something about him put me at ease though in a normal situation I would run from him.  We stood for a bit just watching and holding hands.  Then he stepped forward and we walked together towards to the foot of the tree.  The tree was magnificent, the biggest by far in this forest.  The trunk was as wide as a garage which you would find at the side of a house and you couldn’t see the sky through the denseness of the leaves. The leaves were red and golden and yellow and orange, it made the tree look like it was on fire and the trunk was black or a dark grey like ash.  The tree was truly a miracle.
The man turns to me, I could see him more clearly now, he’s eyes were golden and he had little to no hair under his hood, his lips were small and tight as I watched them open.  But yet I felt I’ve seen him before.  He was a local man, but now just a shell of that man.  His chin dropped to his chest as he let out a almighty deafening scream.  I tried to cover my ears but nothing could dull the screaming.  I dropped to the floor but I couldn’t escape, I was immobilised.  The noise hurt so much I had to close my eyes but nothing helped.  I could smell metal and then my lips felt wet, my nose was bleeding. That’s all, I remember at that point, I must of blacked out.
I woke up and it felt only minutes have pasted, the man appeared to of gone but the tree remained I thought about heading back but something told me to stay.  That’s when I noticed him.  I saw him in the tree, I tried calling him, I tried to stop him but it was like I wasn’t there.  I watched him tie the rope.  I’m shouting for him to stop but he won’t.  I saw him place the noose over his head .  I’m screaming desperately trying to get him to notice me, for him to stop.  But he ignored me.  I watched him fall. He’s leg dangled not far from me.  I heard the snap.  This time he didn’t scream.
Slowly the tree turn grey,  I watched the colour drain away from the leaves and start to fall.  Crumbling away before my eyes like watching the fire turn to ash.  I watched the tree die.  I felt a tear fall from my face and it took a while to realised I was crying, but once I realised I couldn’t stop.  A wave of emotion took hold of me and I just had to let it pass through me.
When the tears stopped I looked back to where the tree once stood, and there in the centre of the clearing stood a single black candle and a note.
"Don't  let me die.  Remember me.  Carry on till you return".
I knew almost immediately I must return to this place with the candle.  I carefully picked up the candle and returned to my solitary life.  Knowing full well my destiny.






Thursday 7 January 2016

Ice heart

The cold wind engulfs my soul
I can feel it whirling inside my chest
Freezing the love it ha for you
In the dead of night
I felt my heart harden

Love in the Darkness

She finds solice in the stars
Sanctuary in the night
Lonelynss is her ally
For we all search for the one

The elusive lover we dream off
the soul mate to make us complete
But what of or soul?

Find comfort with yourself
Find joy in the silence
Make peace with your soul
To find love in the darkness

Tuesday 29 September 2015

The Stare





Everybody has experienced it once, the feeling of somebody watching them, looking at the, staring at them.  It’s an invasion of privacy.  But what are they actually looking at.....






The bell rings for class, god I hate this lesson, we used to be fine but I don't know what happened.  He just doesn’t even talk to me anymore.  He just sits behind me and doesn't say a word.  All lesson, I can feel he’s eyes burrowing into the back of my skull.  He’s always looking, but he never says why.  It don't just stop at this class, it’s all day at school too but this class is the worse cause he sits right behind me.  The stare is intense.  I can hear he’s little gasps for air.  What is he looking at?

We used to be such good friends; some would even say a bit more then friends.  But i have no idea what happened.  We used to talk about everything. Maybe I freaked him out with something, I don't know.  But we have drifted apart and hardly talk, well in fact never talk.  I used to ask him what he was looking at but now I don't.  Sometimes it gets too much, I want to scream at him but that will change nothing.  He still there, eyes staring at me.

At first he used to still sit with us and just glance my way but at least we still spoke sometimes.  He began to get more nervous, he stuttered more till he just gave up and stopped talking.  He’s smile gone now, now he just looks worried or worse scared, but as he stare has intensified the distance has increased to and so has the look of terror.  I just wished he didn't look at me in pure horror.  He so weird

Oh my god...Just stop.  What are you looking at!  This is making me so stressed.  Stop it I can't take it no more, just stop!





The bell sounds, and fear seeps in.  I used to love this class, I sit behind a beautiful girl who was the first person to actually give me some time, I knew I should have got close to her but she was something wonderful.  But now this class is my hell.  I still sit behind her, but now I’m scared for my friend.  We used to be so close and we used to have fun, I was falling for her, but now I'm too scared to get near her.  Every time I get close to somebody this happens but yet, I did try to not talk to her, but she was special, I liked her a lot some would say loved her,  But because of me I can see her downfall and it slowly creeping closer, and there’s nothing I can do.  Every time I see her, my eyes widen, I'm sure she has noticed, but I can see them, edging closer every day.

They are almost touching her now, Last time I saw them this close I never saw that person again, but I have no idea what they do to them.  But my parents made me move areas and I was home-schooled for years, I had to beg them to let me go to school.  I promised them I wouldn’t make friends but with her I couldn’t resist.  They warned me.  I was so scared I backed away but it is no good.  I don’t want to move again, I don’t want to be home-schooled again.  I just wanted a friend.

So now, I don’t talk to her. Hoping that will help but I just watch them edging closer, till one day I won’t see her anymore and they will have what they have been after.  Then the rumours’ will start, and the fingers will point.  But the people don’t understand that it is not my fault.  This was not done by me.  I just see them when you can’t, but you have always felt them.  Even you know they are there, your demons, slowly coming to get you.

Wednesday 23 September 2015

Sisters


“There is only one shit thing about working nights" Maria said to herself as she walked from the bus stop to her house,  "having to walk into a empty house normally mum would be in but she’s babysitting for Isabella, hope she’s having a good night."  Her road was quite as per usual, Everyone’s lights were out.  "This street is so creepy at night, why didn't this bother me when I was younger."  Finally home, as she rummaged through her bag trying to find her keys. "Jack will be home in a few hours and then everything will be wonderful. 

Hay just realised, we are both off tomorrow, we can watch that film together, my treat."


She walks into her Dark house and quickly runs around putting some lights on.  "It looks like it’s getting darker out, Is that even possible?  Better have a quick ciggy before it gets darker."  She steps out into the garden, the sky defiantly looks darker then before and the air has got colder.  The back of the garden the leaves rustle which makes Maria turn round, She tries to squint into the darkness but sees nothing,  "Must be the wind."  She quickly finishes her ciggy and almost runs back inside, "God that garden is creepy at night", she thinks to herself. 


She walks into the kitchen to grab some snacks and feeds the cat, “better grab a drink as well then I won’t have to get up again, I can sloth out in front of the Telly."  Then a noise came from upstairs.  She slowly walks to the bottom of the stair case, and the cat runs passed her legs, Stupid cat scared the crap out of me,  "what you do up there sweety" as she picks her up and gives her a mini cuddle.  As she puts it down so it can eat the phone rings.  "Oh thank god at least it will take my mind of the creepy shit.  Oh it’s Isabella."


"Hay Isabella, How was the date?"

"A disaster, I’m not doing this Internet shit any more. lol."

They stay on the phone for a while then a crash comes from upstairs again.  Maria turns round and sees the cat on the sofa all curled up and asleep.


"Isabella there was a crash from upstairs, It might be the cat earlier she was running about but I need to go check it out stay on the phone, It’s so creepy."  Maria voice turns to a whisper as she checks each room.  "Just my room left" she says as she walks in, it looks like it’s been ram shackled.  As she explaining what is happening to her sister on the phone her bedroom room door shuts, and as Maria turns round there' s Isabella, Phone to ear.


"Oh Maria, I love you I do, but I want your boyfriend.  I can do this anymore Maria.  He’s a good man and I deserve a good man.  Sisters always share."  Isabella jumps forward and wraps a cord around her neck, keeping a tight grasp onto it until Maria's lifeless body just drops to the floor.


Isabella practises her panicked voice and phone Maria's boyfriend...

"I was just on the phone to her, there was a crash and I could hear screaming, what should I do?"


"Call the police!  And meet me at the flat!"


She does what he asks and waits round the corner for everybody to arrive.  She runs like she ran all the way.  "Oh, what is it what did they find?"


He just breaks down in tears where she holds him comforting him.


"Hay look, I will help you, stay at mine tonight, you can’t stay at the flat" and he follows her home.


Back at her flat Jack notices a smell, Its Maria's perfume, then Isabella walks into the living room, it appears she has got changed into the dress he brought Maria for Christmas.  Coyly he states that she really reminds him of Maria. 

"Well Obviously, We are sisters", Isabella adds,

The he notices her bracelet Isabella is wearing, Maria never takes it off, he starts to panic, "why are you wearing Maria's Bracelet?”  She walks towards the door, Locks it and turns to him...


"Sisters always share"






Demons (A STOREM)



She can hear us bickering
we don't intentionally try to make her life hell.
we are trying to help her.
She craves us.
We feed on her every emotion like a feast for our kind.
We'll continue as long as she can.
She wants to cry,
we hope she does
but, alas, we shall have to wait.
 She only does it when shes alone.
We are her demons, 
we shall never go.
She learn to hid us
Most people will never know. 





Just a side note here, I'm not sure if this is a poem or a story.  When I started to write it it was for a story but it progressed into this short piece.  I am happy with its simplicity and it feels like I wanted to.  So we shall call it a Storem

Sunday 23 August 2015

A look inside (a poem)


I wasn't sure if i should publish this but here it is.


Inside I'm screaming
Outside my smile beaming
There is no way for you to tell
That I'm in my own man made hell

I hid what I'm feeling
with a smile that's gleaming
you have no idea
I'm dwelling on my fears

I'm thinking of everything
the worry is setting in
I'm crying yet hiding
My feeling I don't want you to see

My anxiety's destroy
but time will heal
till, maybe tomorrow
where more could be revealed

But don't hid away and shun me
Or my act will just disarm me
I hold back the fear to protect you
Can't you just enjoy my smile show



I wrote this when I was feeling low.  I know its not amazing work but its from my heart.  Writing this helped me focus my mind and help calm me and relax me.  So please don't judge me for writing this.